Building a Career, Losing Her Mother & Achieving a VBA2C with Gila Glassberg

Julie Pernikoff: Welcome Gila Glassberg to Into Motherhood.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here.

Julie Pernikoff: Absolute pleasure. I'm so excited. I'm gonna read your bio. Gila Glassberg is a master's level level registered dietitian and a certified intuitive eating counselor. As a teenager, she was faced with constant diet talk, body shaming, and obsessive guilt around food. This led to years of struggling with disordered eating. This is what propelled her into the field of nutrition. She now uses a non-diet weight neutral approach called intuitive eating to help her clients all over the world. She helps growth-oriented women break out of chronic dieting and regain clarity into what is really important to them. You can find more of Gila's interviews, blog posts, and information on her website at www.gila glassberg.com. You can follow her on Instagram at gila.glassberg.intuitive rd. Gila is available for public speaking events, including topics on rejecting the diet mentality, how to speak to our children about food, and avoiding eating disorders. Wow, that's awesome. Thank you so much, Gila.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: Sure. I'm so excited.

Julie Pernikoff: wonderful. Talk to us a little bit about your approach and what led you to doing what you do.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: Sure. so I I always say that I'm the fourth of nine. and my mother didn't make sure that we eat healthy. She just made sure that we ate. So, she would come home from a long day of work and she would just go to the grocery store and buy like tater tots and chicken wings and I really didn't have a lot of diet culture voices in my head at that time. I just like I guess ate what I liked and didn't think about it. I grew up in Scranton out of town. So we didn't have any kosher food. Not even a kosher pizza store, nothing. And I went away for high school. I lived in Teaneck. So I lived really close to a kosher pizza store. So I was so excited to go down the block and buy pizza and I started going to the pizza store and the candy store and I gained a lot of weight that first year of high school. I also started learning about dieting from all my friends where everybody was on a diet and talking about how fat they were and it was very impactful for me right away. And I felt like I had to lose weight. Like this is the problem. Like I really have to think about this, you know? and I tried to diet and I would do Atkins or Weight Watchers or whatever everybody else was doing and I would lose weight and be really into it and checking my calories and weighing myself a million times a day and I would lose weight and then something would happen eventually where I just couldn't do it anymore and then I would binge and I would feel really out of control and a lot of shame. And I would be like, okay diet starts tomorrow, very typical.

Julie Pernikoff: Yeah.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: and then I guess I got into this mindset of like I can't really like restrict a certain type of food, I just have to eat less. I just have to eat as little as possible. And I feel like that is what happens to people a lot with who develop eating disorders. like I guess I have like those O C D tendencies and like I got a lot of attention for losing weight. So it kind of just spiraled from there. and I didn't really I wouldn't say I developed like a real eating disorder, even though like I was really engaging in a lot of eating disorder behaviors. I just sort of realized this I don't feel good. Like I just felt really like shaky and had a hard time like paying attention and I was so obsessed with food. Meaning like not eating it but just like checking the calories and talking about it. And I wanted to learn about nutrition from that from that time. It was like eleventh grade. I wanna know what's healthy and what's not healthy. and then I decided to go for it and become a dietitian, not knowing that it was like really, really hard and that it required a lot of science. but I was like really dedicated to the cause and I went to school and got my R D and and then I started working and I was like again very disappointed. I really hated the job. I felt like I was the food police and I felt like it was just like so anti what I wanted. Like I wanted to like be supportive and like help people in their journey. And instead I was like, I'm the dietitian, you're the patient, I'm gonna tell you what to eat and you're gonna listen. And that's how this is gonna work, you know? And like you're a therapist, so you know like that's not really how change works. so I was just really down and depressed. Like why did I waste my life on this profession when it like has nothing to do with what I actually want. I should have been a therapist or Whatever and I never went into the field of eating disorders at the time because everybody told me not to. They're like it's really hard to treat and blah blah blah. and I shouldn't have listened, but but I guess it was meant to be and I started doing my research about what to do and I stumbled upon intuitive eating. and I reached out to Rena Riser, who was the first intuitive eating co counselor in the firm world and she just gave me like tons of advice and she's I just was like I'm I'm down. Like I read the book, I took the course, I'm like this is what I'm doing. So that was like eight years ago and that's what I've been doing.

Julie Pernikoff: Wow. So what do you mean? you felt like the food pilly. So talk to us a little bit about where you were before and professionally and then like how you translated that to now in terms of meaning like your placement of work

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: Yeah, twenty twenty six or

Julie Pernikoff: versus now, like I guess where you are now.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: yeah. Okay. So so when I was taking the intuitive eating course, I was working in a nursing home. I hated like I can't even t I hate's not the right word. It was just I hated every second of it. That I had to travel. you become like a glorified waitress. Like they just call you dietitian lady, like as you walk down the halls and like you kind of have to hide 'cause they just like want to complain to you about the food. But your job is like clinical, like but they you kind of get lumped with like food service management. So

Julie Pernikoff: yeah.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: It's just like it's just not a good job as a dietitian. I don't know how else to say it. It was just very doesn't match my skill sets at all. so I never really like thought I would start my own business, even though I'm very entrepreneurial and always wanted to, but I guess it was like I was very afraid and nervous how we were gonna do it. and at that time of my life I was like on a self help journey. So like that that like experience of going I was like a horrible student in high school and I pushed myself to get into school and I did it and I was married and then I was pregnant and then I was pregnant again and it was so hard and so much science and so much work and then and then just realizing like it's just I can't do what I want to do unless I work for myself because like I had you know looked on Indeed every single day and like applied to every job and like the jobs were just like either working in a nursing home or hospital or working at Wick for very little money and you go to school for all these years and they pump you up and you just it just it was very deflating. so so I s I guess because I felt like so down I was like really looking to change something in my life. so I know it sounds funny, but like I got into the book The Surrendered Wife, which is about like it's

Julie Pernikoff: Who's that by?

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: Laura Doyle.

Julie Pernikoff: Okay.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: And it's about it's really about surrendering in general. yes, it's about surrendering as a wife, but it's also like surrendering to a higher power. things are gonna you are control in control of you, but you're not in control of anything else. And like kind of taking the power back of like if I hate my job, like I could do something about it. Like I could start my own business. Like, is it scary? Yes. Is it risky? Yes. But like it's much worse to stay at a job that I detest. Like I just I can't.

Julie Pernikoff: Yeah.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: I I wasn't like able to. so it that was like a long road of like deciding to start my own business. I did like it is like kind of crazy. I don't know if you want me to share all the details, but like I basically told my job

Julie Pernikoff: No, it's very interesting.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: yeah, I basically told my full time job like I'm leaving and I said I'll stay on like working from home until you find someone else. So then I started like, you know, researching my private practice and I'm like speaking to every dietitian I know who started their own private practice and Googling it and And then I decided I would take insurance because I was like I have more time than money now, so I'll you know, I'll take the time to get credentialed with insurance, which means like, you know, have a a contract with them. And I did that, it was like so grueling. Now it's not grilling at all because everything's like through AI. It's like so much easier. But I don't take insurance anymore. But yeah, but that's that's that's I guess what happens after a few years. But I started taking insurance. I started doing live free classes, at my house or on Instagram. I got started putting myself out there. then I started listening to business podcasts about do it, do it now, don't do it perfect, and just show up and the the biggest regret you'll have is like not trying, like a motivational speaker's like I got really down that road of like I don't know if you've read the book, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyways, and listening to podcasts and business podcasts and growth podcasts. I just says down a rabbit hole of self-growth, along the intuitive eating journey, which is like it kind of like coalescs, like it kind of like is parallel each other. Like intuitive eating is very about like taking care of yourself and like the weight will fall as it may. Like, but you don't have to focus on the weight, like you could just focus on your health and taking care of yourself and your physical health. health you don't have to be like obsessive about the numbers because you can't really control that so yeah that was like twenty seventeen twenty eighteen

Julie Pernikoff: Wow, that's so that's so amazing.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: okay, so this is like a big monkey wrench, I guess. So I was pregnant with my third child when I was like quitting my nursing home job, which was very scary. and what happened? Okay, I was pregnant with my third. I don't rem like this is what I remember. We went snow tubing for a winter break in January and I came home that night and took a pregnancy test and I was pregnant. So I guess and around that time I was like, I'm quitting. So I was like newly pregnant, and then like I stayed at that job until like April, like working part time as as needed, until they found somebody else while I started my private practice. And it was really slow, one client a week, one client every other week, like tell trying to tell every single person I know what I do, like really putting myself out there, like vulnerability, like hangover, you know, like okay, like if you don't try, like you'll you'll regret it. Like you just have to like this is like what you're doing.

Julie Pernikoff: Wow, I'm so impressed.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: and yeah, it was it was really hard. Like it was really, really hard. It still is hard, you know? Like it's still entrepreneurship is its own animal. so yeah, so I was pregnant with my third and then so I was like I was in like an I I got additive from Intuitive Eating Chat, which I'm still in, and I was like asking them like what should I do now? Because my practice is so slow and I'm pregnant, no one's gonna hire me. So my friend responded, like, you should definitely try to get a part-time job as you build your practice so that you have like Let's say Monday, Wednesday you work at the nursing home and Tuesday, Thursday is your business days. Otherwise you're unstructured and you don't know what to do. And it's r it's really true. That's very good advice when starting a business. Like have a side part-time job so that you have like structure to your business. so I was pregnant and I this is so random, but I met I think I met someone at the gym whose daughter is a dietitian. Or I met the dietitian first, but she was like a regional dietitian, which means She's in charge of all these different nursing homes. So I think sh either I s I reached out to her, I said, I'm pregnant, I'm due in September. But if you need any temp dietitians, I'm available. And she was like, We actually really need someone in the Bronx. And like it's however long you could do it would be helpful just to catch up. so like I guess like I also learned something at that time that like it's so it's so awesome to be like a a sub at a job. Or a temporary dietitian because like when you're like the main dietitian, like you cannot mess up. Like if you do anything wrong, like you're you're over you're done. Like in terms of like just everyone's like always mad at you. Like no matter what. Like the nurses are mad at the dietitians that like just like really bad dynamics. And I've worked in many nursing homes. So I'm not like trying to say bad about nursing homes, but they're it's just a very cutthroat type of culture. and when you volunte like not volunteer, when you Take over for someone who randomly left, everybody kisses your feet. thank you. whatever you do is good, because you're just saving us. So it's like it just, I was like, wow,

Julie Pernikoff: Yeah.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: I felt so valued. as a side note, like we were also trying to buy a house. So that was also like very risky, and I was very in like I was like. so surrendered.

Julie Pernikoff: Wow.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: I was like, my husband's like, I don't know. I'm like, I don't know how we're gonna buy maybe not. Maybe not now. And he's like, no, we found the house that we really liked, which is the house that we live in. And like it just it just felt like so right. And like we spoke to a rev about like what should we do if like we don't have the money. And he's like, it's your job to just look. Like just start looking. And like this house that we bought wasn't even on the market. somebody who I was in carpo with told me about it. So it was just like all like Hashkaka Pratis just amazing. And

Julie Pernikoff: Amazing.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: basically I got the job at the nursing home and I worked there 'til I gave birth. And that's what got us our house because like when you need a mortgage you need to approve two years of working, but you're allowed to have like l less than a six month gap. And there was like like less than a six month gap 'cause I took the nursing home job, which like was like really a hush cafe. So we put a bid on the house like I don't know, June, July, and then My mom started getting really sick. out of the blue. So my brother got married in June. It was like such a beautiful sun colic. We were so excited. And my mom was fine. It's in June. And then like after the wedding, she said, like, I don't feel so good. They thought she had kidney stones and then sh they they took out the kidney stones and she still didn't feel well, but it felt worse. And like we started having like these meetings on Zoom. like like phone meetings with all 'cause I'm one of nine just to update us 'cause it's really hard to update nine kids, So we would meet on the phone and like this, this, this, she's she's gonna be fine. She might need surgery, blah blah blah. So like you're scared when your parents sick, but like it wasn't like it didn't feel like life threatening at all. and then she had surgery August eighth and they we found out that she had stage four cancer. And it was like a very intense aggressive cancer and actually like I was at that nursing home job so I was only there like a month and I was like it was just so crazy like my father calls me at work and he's like Are you alone? I'm like it was just like horrible. It was like such a horrible experience and then I drove home and like basically my mom had stage four cancer and they said like it's a very hard cancer to treat. and Meanwhile, I go to the doctor for my checkup. I'm like holding this weight of like my mother is really sick, and they're like, Your baby's breach. You need a C section. And I'm like, OMG. And like, I forgot to tell you, I was also taking hypnobirthing during this pregnancy. So I had like my first birth was vaginal, my second birth was vaginal. By my third pregnancy, I was like, I want like I need more direction. Like I want it to like I felt like so connected to birth. I don't know if you want me to share about that, but I felt really like A lot of people

Julie Pernikoff: Yeah, no, absolutely. Absolutely.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: Yeah, a lot of people they are so afraid of giving birth and they just want to get it over with and I was like it's such a it's such a life changing experience of like bringing a human into the world and like you are sort of like doing it what by pushing and like just like coming through the birth canal, like it's like the only day you get to give birth to your child, you know? and I was like, What the heck are you saying? I'm not having a C section, like that's not happening And they're like, But your baby's breach. So it was just crazy. I don't know what to say. I felt like I was living in a soap opera. I'm like, my mom's dying.

Julie Pernikoff: Wow.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: Okay, so Okay, so you find out in August. Okay. So I find out the baby's breached during that time at some point. I schedule a version, which is when they like manually try to move the baby down. Have you heard of that?

Julie Pernikoff: Yeah, E C V. I don't know what it stands for. I

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: Yeah.

Julie Pernikoff: just know that it's that.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: The V is virgin. okay, so I go to the hospital to get this virgin. It is so painful by the way. And I like I've heard I I did my research and I found out like it's very painful. And they're like trying to do the virgin and basically they're literally pushing the baby to move down and they also have a stenographer there checking the baby's heart rate the whole time to make sure the baby's tolerating it. And they just couldn't move the baby and the baby wasn't tolerating it well. So I just had to wait until like the baby's heart rate like normalized to go home. I remember it was a Friday, of course, and the doctor comes in and she's like, I s I it was you were not relaxed and it was really painful for you when your the date of your scheduled C section is, you'll come in, I'll give you an epidural, and then we'll try the version again. And if if you it doesn't work, well you'll have a C-section. And I was like Okay, and meanwhile I was like people were telling me there's doctors that will do vaginal breach and I was like trying to do my research and my friend is an acupuncturist, she came to my house and she burnt like this thing called ma maca on my toes and I'm like sitting upside down and you're checking all the sparm to see if they're upside down because like that's a thing. And this

Julie Pernikoff: Yeah.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: baby was just very stubborn. And okay, so that's what happened and then okay, so my mom's like sick and she started chemo and she did one chemo treatment and then she did another chemo treatment and it was Arab Rosh Hashanah. It was Arab Roshana, so it Rosh Hashanah. Some of my siblings went to Rochester to be with my parents, thinking like my mom's really sick, like let's spend time with her. And I was nine months pregnant, so it wasn't like an option really for me to leave where I was. with a breach baby, So so that was that. And it was very hard. It was a very hard day in Rosh Hashanah. Like we had just bought the house. There was like boxes everywhere. I'm like nine months pregnant. My mom's really sick. The roof started leaking. Like we moved into the house like a week before. I'm like, my God, like I can't. Like I just I just can't. And then after Yantif like my d I went to call my dad to see like how's mommy, what's going on? And he's like, Mommy is in the hospital. She she she like really wasn't feeling well, like right after like candlelighting on Rashashana, and she I don't really know what happened. She fell and they took her to the hospital and like basically the cancer was really aggressive and she was on chemo. So she like was trying they were trying to have her heal from the surgery. Meanwhile, starting chemo and this the tumor already r grew back it was so aggressive, she was just so not in good shape. So he's like, I'm telling everybody to come to Rochester. I understand if you can't. So I'm like, Okay, so now what do I do? I'm nine months pregnant and my baby's breach and my mom might die. And they don't know what to do. So we made like tried to do our figure it out and spoke to my doctor. And it's just like it's crazy. Like I have like the memories are so clear in my head. Like my doc I went to my doctor's office to she wanted to monitor me. She said you should go to Rochester, but I wanna monitor you before you leave just to make sure like there's no signs of leap or anything like that. So that like I feel comfortable with you being on a six hour trip and like try to look up any hospitals on the way and like stop every few stop in every hour or two hours to walk around. It's not good for your circulation to not be walking. and she's like she's like, I remember when my mom died. Like she said something to me like that. And I'm like, my mom's not dying. I'm just going just in case. You know what I mean? Like I was in like it was very hard to accept that she was probably gonna die because like it was just so fast. Like in June she was fine and now this is in September. Like it was just like very shocking and My in laws took my kids and my husband and I drove to Rochester. It was a six hour trip. And we drove straight to the hospital and like a l I think all my siblings were there at that time and like they got to like converse with her because she was still like conscious. for the first like maybe like Rush Hashanah, I Rush Hoshana like a Tuesday, Wednesday. I remember, yeah, it Tuesday, Wednesday, then Thursday. I like tried to figure out what to do. Friday we left. so like I I saw her, I held her hand, she saw me, but she didn't like she was already pretty much unco not fully there. So it was really just shocking. Like what is this? Like I said to my dad, like, is mommy okay? And he's like, Not really, like but like you don't expect to it's like I s I said this to my therapist a few months later, I'm like, Imagine seeing me today and then like three months later seeing me like dying. it's so shocking to the brain, like, you know. so that was Friday and then meanwhile there's like this PA in Rochester who works for an OBGYN. So she called me and she was like, I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna get you you're gonna you're gonna work like you're gonna have my OBGYN that I work for and I'm gonna like make sure all your paperwork gets here and like do everything, which was so nice, a firm lady in the community. She was amazing. And that was so that was Friday and then and then I was like I'm sleeping in the hospital on Travis because I wanted to be with my mom and I was so pregnant I couldn't walk back and forth to the hospital. some of my siblings would walk the hour back and forth, but I just couldn't. So I'm like, I'm sleeping here. And everybody thought I was crazy because I like so pregnant and I like sleeping in a chair, but I was like like I didn't know if she was gonna survive or not, you know. so we spent Travis together and like it was it's all very surreal. And then like I remember leaving the hospital Mate Shabbos. I went home, like slept on the couch or something. Like they were we were all trying to like squish into my parents' house and then my husband's like I have to go back. Like we I can't just like leave the kids. And I'm like, Okay, I'm gonna stay here. Like I we didn't nobody knew what to do, you know? And and then like Sunday came and I was in the hospital all day and then and then Monday the this PA was like, Come meet your doctor 'cause I already thirty nine weeks. So I went on that one on Monday to the doctor in Rochester at a different at a at a different a doc a different doctor, an OBDYN. And it was just so crazy. I'm like with my mom. She's like really sick in the hospital. And I'm like meeting this new doctor for the first time. And I'm like, would you do a version? would you 'cause my other doctor back in New York was gonna do that and he's like he like does a sonogram and he sees the baby and he's like This baby's measuring in the eight pounds. And sonograms are one pound up, one pound down. So you could have a nine pound baby. I'm not doing a version on a nine pound baby. Meanwhile, my babies are small. none of them were over seven in the none of them were in the eight pounds. So I was like, okay. And then I remember this lady was like, You could try like There's a doctor here that will do vaginal breach and my sister Yali, who's like a doctor, she's like, Gila, you're not doing that. Like mommies, whatever's happening to mommy's happening to mommy, you're not like messing with your child's health. I'm like, Okay. Like I just like acquiesced. Like, what was I supposed to do? Like fight with my sister, like it wasn't worth it to me at the time. And then I came back to the hospital and she died. And it was like really sad, of course, and really traumatic. And and then the doctor said to me, my OBGYN said like you could give birth whenever you want. Like you could you could wait a week, like you could wait till you're 40 weeks, like I don't mind waiting if you go into labor. Now I was in Rochester, so you know you have to like kind of heal for like two weeks before you go on a six hour trip. So I know this is crazy, but I was like, I want to give birth. The second that I can because I can't I can't stay here anymore. And people ask me, why don't you go back to New York and let your doctor deliver you? I'm like, I'm not leaving my whole family now. I wanna be with my family. my whole family was together, so I said I wanna have the baby the day after Yome Kipper. So my mom died on a Monday. Tuesday was her funeral, and it was A review of Mkippur is technically a holiday, like a yantif. So we sat Shiva for a few hours and then we got up from Shiva and that was it. And then

Julie Pernikoff: you mean Aravyom Kipper is considered as a yantif when it comes to Shiva?

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: Yeah.

Julie Pernikoff: That it cuts it short.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: Yeah, I guess after Khatos.

Julie Pernikoff: Okay.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: So you don't you don't sit Shiva and then you don't go back to sitting Shiva. you have to just break Shiva. So it at the time we were all like, mommy, wouldn't want us to talk about her because she was like very like that. But afterwards we were all so mad that we didn't get to sit Shiva. that's when people like you never knew were in your parents' life or whatever. Nobody should know. But it was just really sad. but I was with all my siblings and they were a major support and they were a major support to me and my pregnant belly, and it was so weird. Like we had Young Kipper, I spoke to the doctor, he's like, You should definitely be drinking. Like I think I did like every nine minutes or something, I had like an ounce of Powered or something. Like I was like, I'm not like it was so like hard that day, like My mom had just died. I'm in my parents' house. My dad's like depressed, of course. there's a million kids flying around because we're all there with our kids. all my siblings were there,

Julie Pernikoff: Was your did your husband go back home though at that point?

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: So my hu as soon as my mom died, my husband came back around with our kids. 'Cause he wasn't gonna he

Julie Pernikoff: he brought the kids back. Okay.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: wasn't gonna miss a funeral, yeah. Also, it was it was it was Yom Kipper. So that means succus was a few days later. So we all spent succus together in Rochester. Like we we didn't wanna like leave each other. Like we felt like, you know, it's like yantif like we could all be together. I guess we didn't really think about it. It was just like none of us wanted to leave each other, so Again, I didn't like I didn't know she was gonna die. I didn't go to Rochester thinking like my mom's for sure gonna die. It was like really scary, but like it was just like it's hard to believe that it would happen, you know? so okay, so then you know Kiper was in Kipper was really, really like horrible. I can't even I don't know what to say. It was just a horrible day. Then this is like so crazy. I wake up Sun Thursday morning, I'm like, okay, I'm going to the hospital to have a baby. it's so strange. I feel like the element of surprise when you have like a vaginal birth is like so fun. Like, am I I know that this sounds really funny because some people like hate this, but I'm like, am I in labor? Am I not in labor? Like, is it is it go time? Like, you know, like it's just like adrenaline. there's something so special about it. And like I was like woke up and I'm like, I felt like I'm like a lamb to the slaughter, like. Just take me, And I get to the hospital and there's this new doctor who I like met once and they like it's like so surreal having a C section. They like lie you down in the bed and they're like they give you this paper design and it's basically saying like if you die it's not our fault, you know? And I'm like, what am I signing exactly? And then like I I remember like lying in the bed and like and then like they're about to whatever, wheel me into the OR and I'm like, I I'm not doing this. Like I'm about to stand up and they're like gently like pushing me back down like You're doing this. and it's just like crazy. Like you get like I don't know. I don't remember like the the like the episodes are so different than a regular birth. And it was just crazy. And then they take you to the OR and then they do the C section and they're like, It's a boy and we're like, It's a boy? Like my mom died three days ago, seriously, like it was just so shocking. Like I for sure thought I was having a girl, you know? And it was a boy.

Julie Pernikoff: You didn't know what you were having? Wow. Did you do that with your first two also?

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: Yeah.

Julie Pernikoff: That must have been a big shock.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: It was a major shock. it was so shocking. I was like, It's a what? And they're like, It's what I'm like, okay. I'm telling you, you don't I also I hate medical stuff. I'm I hate the b I like when I think about it, it's like they put you on this tiny bed, right? you feel like you're gonna fall off and like now I understand that like the doctors have to be like really close to you so they can't like you know like when you're like bending over something like and you can't really reach it, like y they have to be like right on you, like doing surgery. But just the whole thing of you're a week and and they're stitching you up and you're behind a curtain, I'm just like, Are you done? Are you done? When are you gonna be done? the whole time. I'm just like st finish, And then And then I was in Rochester in this random hospital where I never was. And they take me into my room. And it was so weird. It was like eleven o'clock with my C section, like twelve o'clock, I'm like wheeled into my room, you know, like no element of surprise, nothing except for that it was a boy. And Okay, so this is was a Thursday. And like it was so eerily, like creepy the whole thing because I they, after you have a C section, they don't want you to get a blood clot. So they put those things around your legs to like circulate your blood. And like my mom had just had that in the hospital. It was just like I'm in the hospital now, but I'm the patient. You know, like three days ago my was in the hospital. It was just like, yuck, the whole thing was like so hard. But like all my siblings were there, so they all like switched off visiting me and like bringing me food and and then it was succus. So Nichemia was born on Thursday and we didn't leave the hospital till Monday, which were the first days of succus. So I have a a bunch of funny stories to tell you about that, but if you want to hear about like basically my husband was like gung ho, like

Julie Pernikoff: Everything, yeah.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: he is building a sucka, like he's eating in the sucka on the first night of succas, and I'm like, I'm gonna kill you, like my mom just died, like I don't care about the sucka. And he got like a pop up sukah and he's he's like I wanna build I wanna put the pop up sucka outside of the hospital so we could ha at least, you know, have a meal or like me kiddish in the suka the first night. So he like calls the nurse and him and my brother in law call the nurse to make sure it's okay. And the lady like didn't speak great English, so she's like she's like, What do you mean? Of course you could sleep in the hospital. You don't have to sleep outside in a tent and he's like, No, I don't wanna I'm not trying to build a tent, like it's for my holiday. I need to sleep in a hut. Like it was just so funny. And then like somebody brought us like in Rochester, they're used to it

Julie Pernikoff: That is really funny.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: was so funny. Like I'm listening to the conversation, they're like cracking up and like somebody brought us like there at the time there was a kosher like shawarma place. Somebody brought us like swarmas for like Yandif and like it was I remember eating the swarm. I'm like, this is the best food I ever ate, you know. Like you don't have food in the hospital, and like I was so depressed. It was just so sad, the whole thing was so sad and I was just like, I just want this Schwarman and my husband was so sad about the sucker, I'm like, Stop talking about the sucker like I just like couldn't handle it. Like and then Nachemya's so we named him Nachemya Shlomon. And whatever, it was like we were trying to figure out should we do sh my mom was named for someone named Shlomo and her name was shlomas. So I really wanted to do shlomo, but then somebody said, what if you have a girl are you gonna have a shlomo and a shlamis? Meanwhile I already had a shayna and a simcha. I'm like, I'm gonna have shana, simcha, shlomo, shlomo and I and I and I love the name Nachamiya. Like I had heard it I I never really heard it until like a few years earlier, actually somebody in the community who my mom became close with had a son named Nachemya and the father's parents both died. So I'm assuming it was like he named the boy Nachemya. And then in Rochester, the day before I gave birth, there was like besides for like my whole family and all of our siblings being around, like people in the community came to like check on us. So so somebody came over and her son's name was Nachemya and I like, Nachemia, I love that name. Even though I thought it was having a girl, but I just like whatever. So

Julie Pernikoff: How funny?

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: Yeah, and then after I realized that both Nachemya and Shlomo both built updash. So I like, wow, it's like a really powerful name. Or had a s had okay. Anyway, so we were so my so Nachemya

Julie Pernikoff: Yeah.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: had like high Billy Rubin, which all my kids had after Shana, after my first. So he had to be like in Rochester in the hospital, they don't put the babies like in a place just under the lights, they them in the NICU. So he had to be in the NICU. Okay, so I gave birth on Thursday anyways you're in the hospital for four days when you have a C section. I should have been discharged by Sunday, Thursday, Friday, job Sunday. But he still needed to be under the lights. So he was still under the lights. My whole family's like together make in the suffa in Rochester. I'm in the hospital. And we're just we got discharged. So they like weren't taking care of me anymore. But like I wasn't a patient. They let me stay there, which was really nice. But like I was just there. as a person taking care of my baby and the NICU. and then finally his numbers were good and we got discharged on Monday, which was already the first day of Yantif, and we were told like what to do about like taking a cab home. Bar Hasham, I was able to go home to my father's house, like my parents' house. And then I was in Rochester with the baby. And it was crazy, basically. And then we had the Bris

Julie Pernikoff: Wow.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: in Rochester. And yeah, it was crazy.

Julie Pernikoff: Gosh. So wild. What a wild story. I'm sure there's like even so much more to it. Wow.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: It's just yeah, it's just really life you never know what's gonna happen in life.

Julie Pernikoff: Is it hard, even though you've told it a bunch of times, is it hard to tell the story?

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: I think it's more cathartic for me to tell the story and like I've processed it so many times, like in therapy or with friends, or I wrote wrote about it. I'm writing about it in my book, like I'm writing a book, so it's a big part of my book. Yeah.

Julie Pernikoff: You're writing a book, that's awesome.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: Yeah. So there's like I actually just I wrote like the last chapter recently, which is like the story of her death, my mom's death, and like Whatever, spoiler alert, in the first you don't find out 'til my mom d my mom dies till the last chapter. So if you know me you already know. But if you don't know me, then you'll find out in the last chapter. So I like 'cause I didn't sit Shiva, I feel like I didn't have that time to really process it. And I feel like like I don't know, I obviously I can't like judge, but I feel like I had like one of the worst grieving experiences of my siblings because because I was grieving so much, like I was grieving a vaginal birth, I was grieving my mom meeting the baby, I was grieving my mom seeing my house. I was grieving I always wanted to buy my own house. I said, I was like had that entrepreneurial spirit and I was one of nine. I always wanted financial independence. it was so important to me. And it was just it wasn't like a happy time. It was just a really sad even though Nachamiya was born, it was just it was just colored with so much sadness. but no I like I think I learned a lot about grief and people sharing. I remember saying to a therapist once, whenever I bring up my mom, people like change the subject. And like I wan I if I didn't want to talk about my mom, I wouldn't bring up my mom. But like they probably were feeling uncomfortable, so they would change the subject. Not to be mean, of course. Just maybe they thought like, like she's emoting, so maybe she doesn't want to talk about it and I like, No, I actually wanna talk about it. That's why I brought it up, you know. She like, Maybe you could gently, you know, say, like, I'm not done talking, But it's hard 'cause like unless somebody I I didn't know either before I lost a parent, like I just feel like that's like the the silver lining is that you just end up with a lot of extra compassion for people. Like it's just a pain like is so unexplainable. Like I never would have understood the pain until it happened. Like it's just it's like losing a limb. Like a parent is like your parent brings you into the world and like raises you. And even though I had a very complicated relationship with my mom, I think that made it worse. my my therapist told me that the more complicated the relationship is, the worse the grief is. Which I've told so many people after and they're like,

Julie Pernikoff: Wow.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: Well, it's really like that's really like scary for people who I had a very good relationship with my mother when she died, but like there was a lot of unresolved stuff and it was just like it was just really like it's just it's like when they say like life is unpredictable. it's just wow. wow, life doesn't follow the script. like I never like thought about my parents dying. Like, you know, like my grandfather had died and it was so sad, but like of course you know like your parents are gonna die one day, like everyone's gonna die, but like it was so sudden. Like I didn't have time to really process, like, she's fine, she's sick, now she's dead, and it's over. Like it's just it's just so hard.

Julie Pernikoff: Wow. What type of cancer did she have?

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: She had a uterine sarcoma, which is very rare, and only ten percent of people recover. Yeah.

Julie Pernikoff: That's crazy.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: It is really crazy. Yeah.

Julie Pernikoff: I don't even know like how to like where to go from here. That's like it's an amazing story, but it's also yeah, it's filled with a lot. It's it's filled with a lot. I give you a lot of credit. That's really challenging.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: Yeah. I will I could tell you I did have a vaginal birth after two C sections, if you wanna hear if that's helpful.

Julie Pernikoff: Definitely. there's so many there's so many amazing things that are part of your story. your entrepreneur just to recap for a second, the

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: Yeah.

Julie Pernikoff: your entrepreneurial spirit, your ability to go from working at a nursing home, to then starting your own thing, which is so scary in itself. And then dealing with going from vaginal to C section. And trying to deal with the breech piece, and then dealing with the grief of the C section at the same time as literally the grief of your mother, which came about so quickly. Like that was in less than a year. She was well in June, And then started not feeling good.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: And then it was three months. Yeah, from the it was two months, from the time she didn't feel well till she died, it was two, three months. it was just really shocking, very, very shocking.

Julie Pernikoff: That's a Also, I feel it's just it's another layer of things just 'cause like I I've known your sister for a long time, but like it's just it's another like perspective on your life situation that is just it's very unfortunate. I'm really sorry. I did

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: Yeah, thank you. Thank you.

Julie Pernikoff: hear amazing things about her though. Like I really, really did.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: She was a very special person, yeah, for sure.

Julie Pernikoff: Yeah. So where where do we go from here? Should we talk about your your other birthing experiences? Do you wanna say anything else about your work as a dietitian? feel free to go really wherever you feel comfortable, honestly.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: okay, so okay, let me think about this. So I we came back from Rochester. I actually went back to the nursing home because I needed a j No,

Julie Pernikoff: The Bronx one. No

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: I found the new job. well, I I had this lady, like this regional dietitian who who needed me. So she was like, I'll send you here, I'll send you there. I'm like, Okay, great, like it's good for me to get out of the house and it's good for me to make money and it's good for me to like again, get structure to my day, my my week.

Julie Pernikoff: Yeah.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: I did have a newborn, so it was really crazy. but I think I needed to get

Julie Pernikoff: Who was watching the newborn? Who watched the baby?

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: I had a babysitter for those days and a cleaning lady, it was actually worked out really well. Like those two days, watched the baby, cleaned. so I did that and then this is really funny. It's not funny, but God really works in my serious ways. Okay, so I took this job. It was two days a week. It was very manageable. like six hours both days. it was like very manageable, but it was also really hard for me because like Just like the intrusive thoughts in my head, about like why are you doing this and you're making so little money and you should be growing your business and like just so much like inner dialogue, negative inner dialogue. And like also my mom had just died, like it was just like a crazy experience and I like, I don't know, should I do this, should I not be doing this? Like just lack of confidence in myself and trying to grow my business and then and then I worked there I think for like about a year. And then COVID happened. Okay. So it was March twenty twenty. My kids' schools closed down. My husband also couldn't go to yeshiva. And I had to go to work. I was an essential worker because I worked in a nursing home. So Yeah. So I'm going

Julie Pernikoff: 'cause you were in the nursing home. my god.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: to work. By the way, it was just like so the contrast I can't explain to you. Like from one day to the next, like everything's normal. And then you come into work and like I I literally felt like they were shooting me. They had this like fever gun, thermot temperature gun. You walk in, they take your temperature. Like you wear a mask, you're wearing gloves, like it's chaos, like in the nursing home. Like I'm like, I can't be here. Like I have little kids with germs. I'm gonna kill these residents and they're gonna kill like me. Like I was just like it was so bad and then I was like I I didn't know what to do. So I like I'm like, I'm not going to I think I skipped a week of work or something and my boss is like, Do you want to take a thirty day leave of absence because of COVID? And I was like, yeah, I want to take a leave of absence. Okay. So this is where I feel like it's a good thing for entrepreneurs to hear. Like I we I made a schedule with my husband. I had three hours to work a day and he had three hours to work a day. And like I didn't have a full caseload at all. So I was like, Whatever, whatever it is, I have three hours. Let's say it was nine to twelve. I'm working. So if it's making an Instagram post, it's making an Instagram post. If it's I sa I started my podcast right before COVID. I'm doing a podcast. I'm writing a blog. whatever it was. And it gave me that three hours of like it's structured time. if I if I don't use it, I don't have another three hours later on. we it was like we were tag teaming, with the kids, So that really like helped grow my platform. Like I feel like I was then people started reaching like,

Julie Pernikoff: Wow.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: you know, Wellsprings found me and I was writing for Wellsprings and different people interviewed me on their podcast and I was just really putting myself out there and I was like really scared to be pregnant again after like that traumatic experience. and then I did get pregnant again, like three years later. And then I found out what I was having. That was the only my fourth pregnancy was the only pregnancy I found out what I was having. I forgot to tell you this about Nukemia's Nakamia's story. Hold on one second. I just wanna tell you this, it's crazy. when I was three months pregnant, it was perm, it like the day after perm, I started bleeding. A little bit of blood, nothing crazy. So I called the doctor and they're like, It's probably nothing. Come in on Monday. And like a few minutes or hours later, I don't remember, I started gushing blood. And I was like freaking out, of course. So they tell me come in right now. They're like it might be a miscarriage, it might be nothing. So they do a sonogram and they tell me that I ha it was not a miscarriage, Rah Sham, everything was fine. but it had like a I can't even remember, a sub a hematoma. So it's like a pooling of blood in your uterus, but it's not dangerous. But like I'm I'm also like an exercise junkie. Like I was exercising like a lot throughout my pregnancies, and they're like, You need to take a break from exercise, which was really hard for me by the way. Like I it's like really helps with my anxiety. So I didn't exercise for like two weeks and whatever. Then at five months I was like about to go to sleep and again he started gushing blood. It was so scary. I was like, should I go to the ho my husband was sleeping, as he always is. So I'm like, I mean, like what should I do? And he's like, That's probably fine. And like my I texted my friend, she's a nurse, she's like, go to the emergency room. And I was like I was just like I was just so scared. Like I didn't know what to do. Like last time it was fine. Like, should I really go to the hospital now? Like I don't I didn't know what to do. So I went to the doctor like first thing in the morning and She was so scared. The doctor was so scared and I was like, This is crazy. And she checked me and everything was fine. And and like she said again, like, just don't exercise for two weeks. It was so weird. And then like months later, like I guess around the time my brother was getting married, I had I had a sonogram.

Julie Pernikoff: This wait one second. This was Nachemyas, so this was leading up to that.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: Yeah. Yeah.

Julie Pernikoff: Okay.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: so so this was really nice. I w I had a scheduled sonogram for some time and they called me and they were like, We have to switch it to this time. And it happened to be it was like my mom was in for my brother's Chevrochos 'cause it was like the week of Chevrochos. So I was like, Mommy, like if you're here anyways you wanna come with me to the doctor? So even though she never met Nachemia, like she saw him on the sonogram, which I felt was like really nice in a way 'cause she never really came to me to the doctor because she lived in Rochester. So it was like weird. Anyways, okay, so back to Akiba. So so I was pregnant with Akiba and I I was really

Julie Pernikoff: This is back to this is COVID time.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: COVID time, right. Sorry. I three hours, right. And then and then like business just picked up. after that business picked up. Also, Thursday,

Julie Pernikoff: three hours a day. Right. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: we got stimulus money. I felt like I was like, wow, so many people struggled so much through COVID and we did so well, financially. and like just well, like we were just happy. Like I don't know how to explain it. Like I felt like I felt like first of all, we're supposed to go to Israel on a three week trip, Ma March twenty twenty. And I was so excited and I was like, My mom died and we're gonna go to Rochester. we're gonna go Israel and like we're gonna go for three weeks and it's gonna like a healing trip. And then it got cancelled.

Julie Pernikoff: my god.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: And then my dad's like, I'm gonna rent I'm gonna rent a big house for all of us and we're gonna spend pace off together. And my husband's like, I don't know, there's no minion. Meanwhile, COVID happened and like w there was no minion. Like this before all the Minyan like you know, like before everything closed down, I guess. I don't remember exactly, but But I felt like I learned a lot from the COVID experience. first of all, it was a lesson in emunambitaco and if you do your Hashadis, your business will take off. if it's meant to. and if it's not meant to, it doesn't mean you do the wrong thing. You know what I mean? But you don't know until you try. And I just knew that I knew that I had been through something really intense with my disordered eating. And that that intuitive eating really helped me and saved my life and also propelled me onto different areas of my life that I was able to work on and change and get to know myself. It wasn't just about food. So

Julie Pernikoff: Yeah.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: it just snowballed from there. And and then I had my own business have had my own business since that time. And then it's definitely a lot of ups and downs, you know, like it's really hard work. And it's like there's sometimes where you're so busy and there's sometimes when you're so slow. And like it's kind of just you learn the ebb and flow of business. I took insurance for a really long time and then I'm like, okay, I don't want to do this anymore. It's really annoying. And and you you maybe you have less clients but you make more money per client. So it kinda evens out. and like I also like have AD ADHD so I feel like I mean I diagnose myself, but like I love that like one day I c like somebody asked me to speak out of high school, like that'll be one day. And then one day I'll be like working on a recipe. 'Cause I like work on recipes also and like Yeah.

Julie Pernikoff: yeah. Tell everybody about the recipes.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: Yeah, there's not that much to tell. I just like I I like

Julie Pernikoff: What do mean? I love your posts. I love your statuses.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: Yeah, I guess I guess I hired somebody to do my my website a few years ago. I had a w I have had a website since I started, so I've I've hired different people at different times for different things and also very scary to spend money on your business. But he

Julie Pernikoff: Awesome.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: he said like you're always like posting like pictures and recipes like why don't you write like an e cookbook? Like you have so much good content. And I was like, I don't know, like it's not like real recipes, like it's just like Cooking, it's just like a hobby. I do it for my family. I enjoy it. It's really fun. He's like, No, but you have like actual recipes, like you should just like compile them one day, like just which by the way is so hard. but I do post a lot of like I I guess make nutritious, well rounded meals that are like yummy and easy. I hope they're yummy and easy. And I did like put together like an e cookbook and So I do, I I really try to share my recipes, but the problem is is that I'm such a creative that I'm like da da da da da da and then people are What'd you do? I'm like, No idea. Like I don't remember what I did, like I don't know how much I put in, like how much you put in, no idea. Like, I don't know. Like, so I do, I am I do have an assistant and she's like telling me, like, do this, do this, do this. Like, hopefully the the videos will come out better. But like, that's like really important to me. Like, that I'm like true to myself, with my writing and with my recipes, everybody always says like you gotta stick to one thing. Like don't like if you try everything, you won't be good at anything. And I'm like, I've tried that. Like I'm just like I need to be doing like all the things. And like my I really just want to help women heal their relationship with food. And like I want them to understand that it's never really about the food. So even though like I'm not a therapist, like I've taken I'm I'm taking this training right now called Embodied Recovery. And it's about like it's basically somatic somatic experiencing having to do with eating disorders. So like really working on understanding the body sensations and how that could affect people and their eating. And it's like so fascinating. Like I every dietitian should be trained in that. Like it's just so much beyond like the food. So that's like so important to me. Yeah.

Julie Pernikoff: Amazing. Really amazing. Wow. So t okay, so so bring us back then. So much. Well, it's a good thing you have a podcast because people can tune in there and hear even more. talk

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: Yeah. Yeah.

Julie Pernikoff: to us about the about the VBACs.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: Yeah. So I was pregnant with the Kiva. We found that it was a bo we found out what we were having right away. I could not handle any uncertainty with this pregnancy after what had happened with Naramia. It was a boy. We were really excited, three boys in a row. Of course I wanted to have a girl, but I always wanted to have a lot of boys. I'm a very not like a tomboy, but like I'm not like a a tip like drama like into clothing so I'm just not so girly. So I always wanted to have like one boy one girl and a lot of boys, which I had. so I was like we were excited, you know? And we were like, now like we'll have because Nakamia was born in Rochester, so I'm like we'll have like like a Shalom Zachar in our house and we'll have a Bruce in our own show. Like we were really excited and I was like I'm gonna have a V back and I like told my doctor every single time I came, I'm like, I'm having a V back. I don't care what you say. and you know, like she was not into the V back at all. And everybody who I spoke to was like, Gila, switch doctors, just switch doctors. Like there's so many doctors who are happy to do a V back. I'm like, I can't like betray my doctor, like, you know, like I love my I love my doctor. She's such a nice person, but she just didn't really agree with my birth plan. So like I kicked myself for not switching, but like whatever it was meant to be. And

Julie Pernikoff: Wait, tell us what happened with that. Hold on. Yeah.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: I'm gonna tell you, I'm gonna you. So everything was normal, the birth was good. I hired a doula. I hired a doula because like everybody who I spoke to about like me backing and all this stuff, because I I had a sister who my sister had a a C section with her first, and then she hired a doula for her subsequent births, and she was like, I'm telling you, it's amazing, she'll advocate for you, whatever. And I never wanted to hire a doula, it's so expensive and like I don't know, but If I could give anybody advice, hire Dula. it doesn't matter how much money you have to spend. I okay. So I hired this doula and she was amazing. Like, just have the support throughout your birth, like where she does like certain massages on your belly or whatever. Fine. So throughout the whole pregnancy, I'm telling my my doctor, I'm having a V back, it's the baby's head down, dah dah dah, the whole thing, baby's head's down, bar hushana, everything was good. And then I go into labor and I was like, I'm having a V back, like this is amazing, I knew it. And like she was it like so amazing, like I was I started feeling like like real intense labor like at two three in the morning. So I like took a bath and I like did the breathing and I like was calm, like we got our kids out. I told my husband I'm in labor. He slept through that, you know, like he couldn't. He I'm like, go Davin, whatever. And he went to Davin, like we were good. Like our kids were at school, we were gonna go to the hospital. We went to the hospital, I was like breathing, I'm like, my gosh, it's like a dream. And then another plot twist. The doula, I kept I was very nervous about money at that time because we had just redid our kitchen. So we yeah, we decided to redo our kitchen and that was really scary. Another really scary thing. because like when we bought the house, like the house was like perfect minus the kitchen. Like the kitchen was really small. You've only seen my kitchen redone, but it was like really, really tiny. I can show you next time where it like started and ended. And like it's not like my house is like so it's a really nice house and we did a great job with it. But like when we first moved in, like you're so house poor when you buy a house, like When I heard somebody bought a house, I thought they were the richest people in the world until I realized that once you buy a house, all your money goes to your house. So you don't you can't just fr most many people can't just furnish their house. So we just whatever we may do, but we weren't doing anything we didn't do any work. It was quote unquote moving moving ready, minus the fact that then the roof was leaking, blah blah blah. Whatever. It's very scary owning

Julie Pernikoff: my god.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: your own house, but it's amazing. Okay, so

Julie Pernikoff: I'm sure.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: so we get to the hospital. So we drive the hospital and I'm like so proud of myself. I'm like breathing through it. And then my doula, she kept she said to me, She's like, Listen, you you seem really nervous about money. So if you want, instead of paying me my whole fee, you could pay me like a hundred dollars and I'll coach you on the phone. Which was the biggest mistake ever. Okay. So it was very nice of her. She was it was so nice of her to do that.

Julie Pernikoff: Wait.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: so we got to the hospital and like They check me and I'm six centimeters and I'm like, I did it. I breathed through it, like I'm amazing.

Julie Pernikoff: How many? How many were you?

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: Six, I was six.

Julie Pernikoff: Okay.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: And they admit me and they're like, wow, you're progressing so fast. You're a seven, you're an eight. And I'm like, my God, I'm having a V-back. I texted my doctor, I'm having a V-back. And she said, like, don't get your hopes up. Like something like I was like, why is she being so negative? Like, I am having a V back. Right.

Julie Pernikoff: What?

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: So, so like it was going from like six to seven to eight, and then the doctor comes in. And they're like, well, actually, you're really a seven. I'm like, okay, what is going on? this is not a good sign. what's going on? And and like I know from my fifth birth that there was really stuff that they could do, but basically the baby was sunny side up. So that means like their face is forward. And well, every time like I would have a contraction, the baby would come down a little bit and like press against my cervix, and my cervix my cervix was getting swollen. So it was like really not working. And then and then my doctor wasn't even there. She wasn't there. And she came in for me. So she comes in and I'm like, I'm like, am I having a feedback rate? She's I don't know, whatever. And then, like, after like a bunch of hours, like, so I think I was admitted to the hospital at like 9 a.m. And it was like so peaceful. I'm like, I told my husband, like, play relaxing music. And I'm like, I'm so happy this doula's not here. It's just the two of us, and we're gonna have such a beautiful experience. And like I was so wrong. I can't like Wow, so naive. Anyways, so she comes back in and she's like, You're really not like the baby's not tolerating it. She like and my husband's like being really firm. He's like, She's having a vaginal birth, get off her back. And she's like, No, they're really not she put they put an oxygen mask on me and they're like the baby needs oxygen and Omni's like, I think she's just trying to scare you and like we don't know anything, 'cause like we we don't know. And then I was like crying, like I don't want to have a C section and she's like, It's your baby's health. And she was she's very anti VVAC. So other doctors may not have made that call.

Julie Pernikoff: No, she's very anti C section.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: No, she's very anti VBAX.

Julie Pernikoff: Okay, I don't know who you're talking about then. This whole time I thought I knew who you were talking about. So she's

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: It doesn't matter. She's great. I love her and we're so

Julie Pernikoff: very anti VBAX and also you felt like but you felt like you were being scared into it also, but okay, okay. Got it.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: But also your baby's like if your baby's life is on the line, you just give in. if you have a doula, they could really like advocate for you and they and they they know a lot about birth. Not that they're doctors, they're not, but like when it's just you and your husband and your husband like scared out of his mind and you're like dying from giving birth, like it's that's not so conducive for like advocac advocating. So they wheel me into the OR after like I think I got there at nine a.m. and I had him at seven PM after the whole day of wavering. They wheeled me into the a the the OR and it was horrible. Like they give they have to do like some sort of like t spinal tap or something 'cause like they need to they need to do a different type of epidural for the C section and like they gave me this medicine and I like vomited and like my husband wasn't in the room yet 'cause it was like they were trying to like go fast. And he was like crying and I was crying and I had to see kitchen and that was it. And it was like I felt so defeated. Like I was so obviously elated to have a baby and he was so cute. And I was like, Wow, nobody died. Like after he was born. I'm like, We don't have to go to any funerals. Like it's just you know, 'cause my mom had just died before. So I was like, Nobody's sick. Like, no, we don't have to go, like, no one's dying. we're gonna it was like such a nice feeling. but it was also just Crazy 'cause it was Arab. It was I gave birth, I had the baby on Tuesday and that Friday was a three day Yantif. It was Shivuis. Okay. So I was like

Julie Pernikoff: my gosh, you really got you've got the stories.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: I was like, if I give birth on Chavez Sunday or Monday, I'm literally gonna have a briss on a three day auntive. So either nobody's gonna be here for my briss, because there's too many people to host, or everyone's gonna be here for my briss, and I'm gonna have to host a three day auntip. I'm like, please I should have once I got over the hump to Tuesday, I'm like, Okay, I'm good. so I mean I wouldn't have been good if like people were already telling me like I'm making you Shabuis, like, what are you gonna do for Shabuas? And also yeah, it was just crazy. And then also also the doctor would like she's scaring me, if you I'm not letting you go forty one weeks. So I have to schedule your C section for forty one weeks. And I was like, What? she's like, I'm giving you one week. So I was like, I went into labor a day early before my due date and I was like so happy. I was like, I'm gonna have a V back, And then and then I had a C section and was like it was so I was like devastated And it's so hard because people are like, Your baby's healthy, just shut up, and I'm like, I know, in the grand scheme. And my doctor was very not that she's an unsympathetic person, she's a very special, nice person. And I a actually think she's a tetheikas and I love her, but maybe it's like generationally like the like suck it up and like life could be so much worse, which is true. Like when you're after you like process it, like my dealer called and she's like, I'm gonna come over and we're gonna process it together, like There were so many nice people who were like, It's okay, you're allowed to be sad and happy that you have a healthy baby and sad that you had it, But then there's a lot of people who are like, Can you just get over it? your baby's fine. so it's like it's just hard. You have to deal with it. you just have to do what works for you. But I was like, I'm having a VBAC. And and by the way, Dr. Herman, who was my doctor and who who did my VVAC eventually, he actually was rounding in the hospital when I had Akiba, my fourth. And I was like, can I have a V back? I asked him, the baby was like the baby's like one day old. And he's like, he's like, can we not talk about this? Now I'm like, no, I need to know. Can I still have a vaginal birth? And he's like, he's like, tell me about your other births. And he's You're you're a good candidate. Like you went into labor naturally with your first two. Your third was breached, and your fourth was a C-section after a C-section. So you're already at high risk for C-section. But like, yeah, you're a good candidate. And I was like, okay, I guess I'm switching doctors. And And then I I know.

Julie Pernikoff: That's crazy. Wait, that's that's also Hashkaha.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: It is crazy, yeah. It is Hashkafa, yeah. Yeah. I

Julie Pernikoff: He was in the hospital rounding and that's the only reason why you

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: would've like I would have I I was pretty like sure that I was gonna 'cause even like Dr. Jacobs who doesn't take my insurance, like you could people pay out of pocket. Like I was considering paying

Julie Pernikoff: Yeah, I know. Yeah.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: out of pocket. yeah, you know. So so then I got pregnant with my fifth, who I did not find out, and it was a girl, and I got the name for my mom and I had a vague birth. So it was like Everybody said I was on vaginal birth high. I was so V back I was just so happy. But basically

Julie Pernikoff: Wait, wait. We got we heard all the C section details. We have to hear the V back details.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: Okay, I'm so excited to tell you. Okay. so I find out that I'm pregnant with shalamus and I didn't want to find out 'cause like I love not knowing. I right away switched doctors to Doctor Herman. So even before like I got pregnant, I had a meeting with Doctor Herman, which I thought was a really good idea just to get to know him. and talk about my fears and tell him like I really want to have a V back and he was like totally on board and I the the truth is like I don't love having a f a male doctor so I so like I kind of forgave myself for not switching to Dr. Herman because I was like it was so new to me to go to Dr. Herman's office after I had been with that other doctor for ten years. So like even just driving to Greenneck or wherever he is not Here, I was like, This is really hard and his office I love Dr. Herman, but like the office that I used to go to was like really big and this office is like really small and like you're pregnant and this other lady that like you didn't know was pregnant is sitting like it was just like a real adjustment. Like, Kila, this is why you didn't want to switch. Like you were so used to your other doctor, it's like so normal. And like he's a man. Like it's just it's uncomfortable. Like I know some people like he's amazing,

Julie Pernikoff: Yeah.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: but like I just was like, if I could have a f a female, why would I have a male, you know? fine, so then I got pregnant and We didn't know what we were having and I was like, I'm having a vegetable birth, I'm hiring a doula right now. So I so my doula who I had with with Akiva who had made Alia, so she recommended someone who my sister also used. And like it was very scary for me to to be with Adula at first. I was like, Who is this lady? Like she's gonna be like in my most intimate moments, like I don't even know her. Like so scary. And but she was so sweet and like I was like I really wanna have a V back and she had had a V back. So I was like she just like gave me a lot of confidence. And she spoke about my birth plan a lot and she would come like like to my house a few times to like help me with exercises and that like support like baby head down and opening up your pelvic floor and all that stuff and I also went to pelvic floor P T because I was told by some peop some other I don't know doulas. I spoke to so many people that said that it could be that your pelvic floor is like tight and if you would go to a pelvic floor specialist they could help you. And I went and she's like your pelvic floor is fine. Whatever. Give me no sanfesh but like it wasn't that, you know? It just like it was like I don't want to say coincidence. It was Hashem but like it was just I had the baby was breached like that it just happened sometimes. anyway, so I had a very normal pregnancy. I did have some bleeding with that pregnancy also and I I did have to stop exercising for a little but it was just so c so scary when that happened. Bar Hashem, everything was okay. And I'm pretty sure the birth w the my pregnancy was like totally normal. Like it was I was like thirty-four, like I was like, wow, it's really hard to be pregnant in your thirties versus your twenties. Like it was like a different fine kind of like a different experience, but it was great. And then okay, so listen to this. I'm gonna tell you this story. So My husband goes he go we're in in his yeshiva they go to Romumu for a Shabbaton every year and he like runs it. He's like in charge of the Shabbaton. So obviously like we found out the day of the Shabbaton, it was it was a week before I was due. So like right when he found this out, he's like, What are we gonna do? So we're like trying to figure out, like he's like, Are we not gonna go? Should you go? I'm like, But if you go It doesn't like I might as well go because then you're far from the hospital. and I was like, Should I go? Should I not go? I'm not going. That's crazy. And and then I was like I spoke to my rub, whatever, he's like, It's it's it's gonna be fine. And I like, I'm so like my labors are so long that people are like, What if you give birth at Roman? What if you give birth in the car? I'm like, You know how happy I'll be if I give birth in the car? Like That would never ever happen to me. My my labors are 10 hours, 20 hours. it's just you know your body with your fifth birth. Like it just wouldn't happen. So when I asked Dr. Herman, and he said it was like I I went to the doctor right before I was checked. Right before I went, I got checked. Also, I feel like it's important to note that like with my first two, I was four days late. And then with my third, it was a C section. And with my fourth, I was one day early. So when people say, like, are you always early? Are you always late? I feel like the doulas gave me like really good advice and I got myself into labor. I don't know if it's really true because you have no way of knowing, but they told you certain positions to sit in and certain things to eat and I was never not that you never know, but the my first two I like I just was like wait and then I felt like I was like you could sometimes bring on labor if you know techniques, I guess. So so we went to Romu and it was a week before my duty. So first of all the drive was three hours. it was when I got right when we got there, I'm like, I mean, don't feel good. Like I don't feel

Julie Pernikoff: no.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: good. And then I was like, okay, just like just like just like walk around, drink some water, and then I was fine. And then Friday there was like a three hour long like girl swim. And I was like s and I'm like I like love all the stuff. Like I wanna do all the stuff. So I like, I'm swimming for three hours. And I start swimming and I'm like, I better stop. Like I was like still in the pool, I was like, I could bring on labor. I have to stop moving. And anytime I had to go anywhere, Amy would drive me in the golf cart. just don't just don't walk anywhere. And then we like every like few hours I was like, okay, I'm okay. Like I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay. And then there was a there was a lady who went to Rome and we like a different time in our community who went into labor at Rome. So everybody's like, Do you know this person? I'm like, thank you for reminding me that someone went It's later, people would say such funny things to me. I'm like, yep, I'm here. It is what it is. Like, if you know, I'm like, I have my birth plan, don't worry. and then we left we left Sunday morning because I had to get back for Nafemia's like sit or play or something. And like I went I w I worked that day. I remember working and and then Monday my husband was off because he like ran the whole shapatone and we like went out for lunch. Like it was a very leisure day. And then I did I think I did a lot of walking on purpose. I'm like, okay, also you're you're always scared that you're gonna get past your duty and then they're gonna have to give you a C-section. it's just scary. I wanted to be whatever. And I was talking to my doula the whole time. And then Monday, I felt like a little bit crampy. we went out to eat and I went to the bathroom. am I gonna give birth? I felt like I felt like pre-labor like the whole Monday. And then my doula told me a position to sit in for ten minutes. if you want to get yourself into labor, which I did. And I had did it I had done it with a kiva also and I went into labor that night, so I did that and like I was like sitting on my phone.

Julie Pernikoff: What was the position?

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: You basically lie down I could show you, but you basically lie down on the bed with like your stomach down and you like put your bottom like all the way up, sort of like a child's pose, and you stay like that for ten minutes.

Julie Pernikoff: okay.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: So it really opens you up and then and then like

Julie Pernikoff: Yeah, good to know.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: I'm texting my dula like I think I'm having contractions. So she's like told me to like download this app that like tracks your contractions. So I'm like tracking my contractions. My husband's sleeping. And I'm like trying to go to bed. I'm trying to go to bed. I'm like listening to a podcast.

Julie Pernikoff: So funny.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: I'm like, this is getting like intense. this is getting like feeling labor. Like I'm timing my contractions. I'm like, yeah, like I'm pretty sure I'm in labor. Like It's like every few it was less than every five minutes. It was every two, three minutes. And it just my doula was so sweet. She's like, I'm going to a show event, but just text me if anything, She's like, I'm still here, how you doing? Whatever. And then and trying to fall asleep, but I'm like, I don't think I'm gonna fall asleep. this is not gonna happen. So I text her, she's like, I'm coming over. And you don't wanna have a false alarm. you just don't like it's just so annoying to go to the hospital and you make wake up your doula or whatever, you make your doula not go to sleep and you wake up your husband and you're I'm like I'm I'm pretty sure I know what labor is like this is my fifth baby. And like I'm sitting on the birthing ball and she comes and she's like you're in labor. Okay. So I'm like amazing. Like she's do you want me to drive separately or do you me to come in the car with you? I'm like, that would be so nice to have somebody like next to me, you know, like helping me breathe. And I told her this by the way, so it won't offend her, but I was like at first I was like, okay, this was a mistake. Like she's like hovering. Like Give me my get away. and it's just a me thing, it's not a her thing. she's now that I know how helpful it is, I'm like, okay, I get it. But like I'm a very like I need my own space type of person. So I was like, no, like did I make a terrible mistake? And she's like, Br through the like, you know when you're I don't know if you know this, but when you're driving to the hospital and you're in labor, like every bump really hurts. So I'm like, my god, it hurts. And then she's like, Breathe, but I'm like, shut up. Like I was like, I didn't want her to be like talking to me and then and then like it's like Who's helping me, my husband or her? it's just like this weird dynamic that I had never navigated because I never had to do it with me at birth. And then but

Julie Pernikoff: Right, right.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: but right away was so helpful. I'm like signing in and they're like, when these ridiculous things could I see your license? I'm in labor. do you have to see my license right now? It's uploaded on my file. and she and she would be like, Could you just look up her insurance card? here, and she's like she really doesn't feel well. Could we just do this after, she wants to get her up at the or whatever. And I guess they have to check you in, but whatever. She just was like, sit down, get getting me a chair, husbands are like frazzled, in the middle of all this, So so

Julie Pernikoff: Yeah, yeah.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: we get in and they check me in. I'm like I'm six centimeters. I'm like I'm so hot. I remember being like, I'm so hot, I'm so hot and she pulls out these fans. She's like blowing fans on me. I'm like, I love you Don't you ever leave and she's like playing she's I'm like, don't talk, talk like like play classical music. I don't remember, but like she just was like such a calming energy. Like I can't okay, to the hospital, like I get why I was getting like nervous, like is she gonna be hovering? But like it was so nice to have an extra person. My husband was so happy, he's like I could just like sit and learn or say to Hillam, like he was so happy and we're like, Why didn't we ever have Azula? Like it's literally the best thing ever. So so I'm like getting like really imp like so much pain like I c then do not tolerate p pain well and I'm just like give me the epithural I need it and she's like applying like I'm breathing and like hugging her and she's like applying counterpressure and I'm like no one's ever done that for me like she's yeah there's like things that can help you with your pain and like it was amazing and then and then of course you have to wait until you have a room like please get me the room like I really need epithural they get me the room and like The anesthesiologist comes in and he's like, I'm just waiting on your labs. they have to check your labs for the epidural. And I'm like, and then to Tova, my doula is like, Can you please hurry up? she's in a lot of pain. they don't take you seriously for some reason, the pregnant lady who's in pain, but it's really painful. And then he came back, I was like divining to Hashem. I'm like, Hashem is doula, Hashem is doula. I was like really trying to lean in that whatever's going to happen is gonna happen, and I'm doing everything I can do. And I'm like, please get let the labs come back. And he one minute later, he's like, That was the fastest lab that's ever happened. And he gave me up a girl and I was like, She was like, I I had she I'm like, Can you dim the lights? Can you put on music? she was like massaging my feet and like distracting me. Like, that's what I need when I'm in pain. I need someone to like talk to me and tell me like ridiculous things about like kangaroos or something. Like I just don't want to be thinking about anything that's going on in my body. And she's just like talking, blabbing, whatever, but like totally distracting me. And like I remember with my last few births, they don't let you eat, but they let you have ices. So she brought me ices and it was so amazing. And then I'm like emailing Dr. Herman, Dr. Herman, I'm in L also he was in Israel. He I I hadn't seen him for a while because he went to Israel for two weeks. He had just gotten back and I'm emailing him, like, I'm in Libra, are you coming? And he's like he like t he was like emailing us back at like five in the morning. like he woke me up. Like he's very funny. He's like I didn't even get to say goodbye to my wife. and he but he came. He came early. And the doctor on call was like, I could deliver you. I could do it. I'm like, I'm waiting for Dr. Herman. I want my doctor. I haven't had my doctor deliver me, ever, basically, because of Rochester and whatever and the C section. I wouldn't call that being delivered, the baby has it's different. So, and also like I like Dr. Herman my whole pregnancy, but like I understand why people are like, Goo goo gaga over him after the birth because he was such a good cheerleader. He's so involved in the patient when you're giving birth. It's like incredible. And I won't get into like any gory details, but like just a lot of funny things happened in in the in the room and and like I'll tell you off camera. And then basically

Julie Pernikoff: Okay.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: like he came in and and he it's it's hard to remember one doctor measured me and was like she's eight, she's seven, she's nine, I don't know, I see and I'm like and and like if I was if like the baby wasn't coming down, like Tovo would like reposition me. Like she would like sit me up and like put a pillow here and like probably if that would have happened like who knows but like it was just like she's like and I I like only wanna like push when I'm like ready to push. You know what I mean? Like I don't wanna like push any longer than I have to 'cause like I've pushed for like really long times and like I think it's because like I wasn't ready. I'm like as long as I feel this epithural, I'm just gonna close my eyes and chill, And then

Julie Pernikoff: Yeah.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: and then like to then like I started pushing and Tovo was like amazingly helpful throughout the whole thing and like Ami was there like saying to help him, like he wasn't didn't have to be my cheerleader really. He like a few times he would, but like and then like and then it's really hard to push, by the way. it's really intense. they're like, okay, one more. I'm like, I can't, I'm dying. And I exercise a lot. I'm like, this is really hard. and then and then Dr. Herman does this like really interesting thing that like the baby was like coming out and he's Do you want to feel your baby's head? And I was like, No, God, he's like he like he makes you feel your baby's head and like as encouragement. And I was like, Okay, I could do this. And I like whatever I pushed and like the baby came out and like Dr. Herman does this amazing thing. He like holds up the baby. And he's like, Mom, call the gender. Cause I was the first one that got to call the gender. he didn't even look. He just held the baby up. And I was like, I was so confused because I didn't know he was gonna do that. And he like this was the first time I ever delivered with him. So I was like, Is that a boy? I couldn't tell. I was like, What is that? Is that a boy or a girl? And it was a girl. And I was like, It's a girl. And it was just like I have a girl and I have three boys and it was another girl. And it was like and I had a vaginal I was like, I can't believe I did that after two C sections.

Julie Pernikoff: Wow.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: I hadn't pushed in ten years cause in between those two babies and I don't know the the Zula was amazing. She gave me lavender to smell and the energy was like everyone was so happy and like she was like perfect. Like I I hadn't had a girl like my oldest my oldest was twelve. My girl was twelve so I hadn't have had a baby girl in twelve years and I knew I was gonna name for my mom and it was just like it was just like the best day ever. Like I was just like I can't believe that I had to be back and I had a girl. it was just like it could happen.

Julie Pernikoff: And you had a V back after two C sections. That's a really big deal.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: It is. It's a really big deal. And don't give up on your hopes. there are doctors out there that will do it. I also listened to this podcast called True Birth. I did a lot of research. So different people would give me different resources. And Dr. Abdelik, who is the host of the podcast, he is a very big fan of vaginal birth and v backs and like he's very unconventional and he tries different things and he th he like really trusts the mom. And like of course sometimes he you have to have a C section, but like he He's really tries to keep his C section rates down. So he also doesn't take a turn. So I should I just pay him? And my someone I know gave me a number of someone who used him and she was so happy and she had two V backs after two C sections and her first two were were C sections. So that was like that's even bigger. That's an even bigger deal because with me, like I knew I could get in sleep or naturally. but like there are doctors out there, like of course you have to like make sure your baby's healthy and like you don't want to risk anything, but like There are doctors that will try different things and it's it's important 'cause it was such I don't know, giving birth is so beautiful.

Julie Pernikoff: Yeah.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: Basically it was one of the best days ever. like don't give up on your hopes of me be back,

Julie Pernikoff: Unbelievable. Gila, this was phenomenal. Like, I'm so grateful for this time that to hear from you and it was just It's just amazing. I there's so much more we could talk about also. But anyways, I think an hour and a half is pretty good for our listeners.

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: Yeah, yeah,

Julie Pernikoff: thank you so much for being here. This is phenomenal and

Gila Glassberg Gila Glassberg: Okay, thank you so much for having me. It was some fun.